Do you feel sometimes that you are the prisoner of the fear of facing reality? You don’t want to see the truth, because its too cruel. You find hundreds of excuses, escapes (maybe drugs, alcohol, or other self destructive behaviour). But your fear remains undiscovered, untouched, uncharged and feared by you.

Of course this is painful, it takes time, and most of all there’s no guarantee for success. You can’t know if it will not get even worse. “No, its not worth trying… It will get even worse. I’m NOT DOING IT!”

You know what? It’s a trap, its the same excuse. If you fall into that trap, you will remain passive and rely more on others over yourself to solve your problems. For some reason many people believe that others can solve their problems better than they can – especially if they chose to stay in their pain. Well sometimes that scenario is possible – but don’t rely on it. Help from other people is good – but they can’t perform miracles.

If you don’t pay attention to your own needs and wants (because you are afraid of knowing what is really going on), you’ll literally “put your destiny in other people’s hands” and become “poor victims of this cruel world.” Every time you allow others to make decisions that ultimately rule your life, you will feel like you have no (or little) impact on your life or control over it.

I’m not telling you here that you shouldn’t seek the assistance of others. But if you don’t know what you want and you just ask others to “help you”… Well, they might help, but are you sure they know how to help? Do they know your path? So, do they really know what is best for you in that moment… or what is best for them?

You should make your decision first. Then, if you decide to deal with the fear, you can ask others (experts or people with more experience) to help you. You have to be the captain of your ship…

Where is the answer?

How can you make the right decisions and set priorities for you? Contrary to popular belief, it is a proven fact that “faster is better” in terms of reaching a decision and if you want to live the life you want, then you do have to make these decisions yourself. There is no shame in making the mistake when deciding. However, if you allow others to make your decisions, then you lose out in two areas. First, because you are forced to live with the consequences and second, because you don’t reap the full reward nor learn the lesson that making the choice or mistake yourself would have delivered. Therefore, if you don’t make your own decision and learn from your own mistakes, then you will be living according to somebody else’s wants and desires, shaped by the choices of someone else’s vision.

Make a list of the steps that will help you decide what to do and achieve your goals. Rank them according to their importance using numbers, e.g. from 1 to 10 and put them in your schedule. Learn to prioritize. Separate urgent and important matters. It is urgent to be at a meeting this afternoon, but it is important to take a car to the mechanic, otherwise you may have a breakdown that could cause even more problems. It is important to be on time for your job, but it is even more important to drive safely in getting there.

If you want to know whether you are deciding in favour of an urgent matter or an important matter, ask yourself: “What suffers because of what I’m doing now?” “What do I miss because of what I’m doing now?” If your answer is nothing, carry on, but if your answer is “something”, then you need to ask yourself which of these is more important thing first. As you will see, urgent things aren’t usually the important tasks, except at a really critical point. Do not let the important things become urgent!

Be focused and be aware of what is going on in your life, especially when it comes to a crisis. If you tell yourself the truth about what you see and are able to do something about it, then you’ll seldom have a situation that will escalate into a crisis.

A problem that is very small and relatively simple to master at the beginning can easily become a major catastrophe if left unattended. A small fire can be put out with a glass of water, but it won’t take long to develop into a raging inferno that not even fire brigade can’t put out. We tend to be creatures that postpone urgent or important matters until the last minute and this is nowhere more obvious than in when people plan for holiday – are you an early planner or a last minute shopper? You must also realize how quickly a small challenge can grow into a big problem, how an important matter can become urgent or urgent matter become important.

So, when challenge appears, tackle it immediately – because it can’t solve itself and there is even less of a chance that someone else will solve it appropriately (at least some disadvantages for you). As we have said before: change the root causes and the consequences will change as well.

Chase your fears away and consciously decide to take a chance in life.
Trust me, it’s usually well worth the trouble!

Of course, the decision (as always in life) is still yours… Its your life, or is it?…

Technorati tags: self improvement, personal training, self help, self esteem, self confidence, self motivation, personal growth, self growth, personal improvement, self development

Next Post: Attract what you want