ÀǺÐ: ±×°ÍÀ» ÅëÁ¦ÇÏ´Â ¹æ¹ý! Barrington¿Í ¼öÁ¤°°Àº È£¼ö¿¡¼­, IL

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±â¾ïÇϽʽÿÀ: ³ÊÀڽſ¡ ´ëÇÏ¿© »ý°¢ÇÒ °æ¿ì °áÄÚ °°ÀÌ ³¹¸» ¶Ç´Â Ç×»ó »ç¿ë¿¡ °üÇÏ¿© ¾ÆÁÖ ÁÖÀDZíÀ¸½Ê½Ã¿À ´Ù¸¥ »ç¶÷ÀÖÀ¸½Ê½Ã¿À. »ý°¢Àº, ÀÌ Áöµ¶ÇÑ Â÷ ÀÏ °áÄÚ ÁÁ¾ÆÇÏÁö ¾Ê´Â´Ù, ¶Ç´Â ´ç½ÅÀº ¶ÇÇÑ Á¦ ½Ã°£¿¡ ¸ÂÃç, ÀÌ´Ù »Ó¸¸ ¾Æ´Ï¶ó ÇãÀ§, ³ÊÀڽſ¡°Ô ±×°ÍÀ» Á¤´çÈ­ÇØ¼­ ´ç½ÅÀÇ ³ë±â¿¡ ¿¬·á¸¦ °ø±ÞÇÏ´Â °ÍÀ» ºÀ»çÇÑ´Ù °áÄÚ ¾ø´Ù.

±×µéÀº ¶ÇÇÑ ºÎÁÖÀÇÇÏ ¹®Á¦°¡ unsolvable ÀÌ´Ù ´À³¦À» âÁ¶ÇÏ°í ¶ÇÇÑ, ´Ù¸¥ »óȲ¿¡¼­ µ½°Ô ±â²¨ÀÌ ÇÒ Áöµµ ¸ð¸¥ »ç¶÷µéÀ» ¸Ö¸® ÇÑ´Ù. ħ¹üÀÌ ¾Æ¹«°Íµµ¸¦ °íÄ¡Áö ¾ÊÀ» ÀǽÄÀÌ ÀÖ »ý°¢³ª°Ô Çϰí, ´ç½ÅÀÌ ÀÌÀü¿¡ ´õ ³ª»Û ½ÇÁ¦·Î ´ç½Å¿¡°Ô ´À³¦À» ½ÃŲ ÀÏÁö¸ð¸¥´Ù.

ºñ·Ï Á¤´çÈ­ÇØ, ³ë±â°¡ »¡¸® ±Ø´Ü ÀûÀÌ°í ºÒÇÕ¸®ÇÏ°Ô µÉ ´Ù´Â °ÍÀ» ±â¾ïÇϽʽÿÀ. That makes it very important to make the use of hard logic a routine part of your mental hygiene.

Each time you are agitated or annoyed; consciously remind yourself that often problems have really NOTHING to do with you, personally-but, rather, with the goings-on of the world itself or with the other person. Remind yourself that you are just experiencing some of lifes inevitable pot holes.

These thought replacements will help you get a more balanced perspective when you feel your anger getting the best of you. Remember: Angry people, in their subconscious thinking tend to DEMAND things like, justice, respect, compliance, admiration etc.

Of course, we all want these things and get hurt and disappointed when we do not get them. However, pathologically angry people subconsciously DEMAND them, and when their demands aren¡¯t met, their disappointment converts to toxic forms of anger.

As part of your thought management program, become aware of your demanding feelings and then convert them into simple desires. In other words, practice saying and meaning, I would like something rather than saying, I DEMAND or I MUST have something.

Then, when you are unable to get what you want, you will experience more appropriate and normal reactions such as, frustration, disappointment, or annoyance but not toxic ANGER or RAGE. Many people use toxic anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but, it usually does not go away by using that strategy.

Healthy Problem Solving Skills

I am sure that sometimes, your anger and frustration are caused by very real, intractable or inescapable issues and it can be a healthy, natural response to them. Unfortunately, there is also a pragmatic cultural belief in America that every problem has a solution.

Unfortunately, that notion can compound our frustration when we discover that it is not always true. When you confront this type of a situation, it might help to not focus so intently on finding the solution, but rather on accepting what you cannot change.

Focus on acceptance; but do not punish yourself if it does not happen instantly. Approach the problem with a balanced view which might be considered philosophical in nature.

When you make a serious attempt at acceptance, you will not be prone to become frustrated and fall into the type of impatient and disastrous black-and-white thinking that erupts into toxic rage or anger.

Dr Shery is in Cary, IL, near Algonquin, Crystal Lake, Marengo, Woodstock and Lake-in-the-Hills. He provides day and evening appts and accepts all insurance. Call 1 847 516 0899 or learn more at: http://www.carypsychology.com

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Rage: How To Control It! From Barrington and Crystal Lake, IL...